Snapshots in time by Ali

15 Seconds... My sister drives up to the Provy door, I’m frail and I’m sick I can’t take much more, All I can see is the big metal gate As I think to myself this is all too late She stops the car and she looks at me Her pain is obvious for me to see She starts to cry I feel her tears As I have done frequently over the years I want to run I just want to hide As my will to live has already died.

15 Minutes... The time has come to say goodbye She holds me tightly as I promise to try But already I’m thinking of heroin And my obsession to have it is starting to win I’m not sure if I want my using to end There is too much damage to possibly mend I hear different voices inside of my head I focus on these I don’t hear what she’s said She says her goodbye but I no longer listen My stare becomes vacant my eyes start to glisten

15 Hours... I don’t like the people I don’t like the place I obsess about heroin its smell and its taste I sit in group and they all start to share But I don’t want to hear it I really don’t careThey talk about faith and how they are praying I try not to listen I can’t bear what they’re saying I stare at the window and then at the door I want to run through it, find somewhere to score They end the group joyously all smiles and hugs I feel so alone I just want to use drugs

15 Days... My meds have ended, my withdrawal’s intense But deep down inside I know it makes sense My eyes start to open I begin to see hope Withdrawal continues but somehow I cope I’m surprised by a change in my attitude As I am hit by waves of gratitude I try so hard just to get through the day As I start to accept there’s just no other way A belief inside me is starting to grow And I like how it feels; I don’t want it to go.

15 Weeks... I learn how to smile without drugs in my sight I like being clean it’s no longer a fight My life is so happy I can hardly believe With an unfamilar freedom so hard to conceive I look back on how I felt when I camethrough that gate Full of anger, self-pity, negativity and hate But my journey of recovery has now truly begun As I grow to accept that my using is done Each day I look forward to what lies ahead Each night I thank God for the peace in my head.